Pinelands National Reserve
southern N.J.
Visited: December 5, 2006
NPS Site Visited: Not an Official Site
NPS Affiliate Site Visited: 18 of 28
NPS Website; Local Website
WHAT IS IT?
1.1 million acres of oak pine forest and wetlands. The land covered in this affiliate National Park Site amounts to nearly the entire southern third of New Jersey. There are no federal facilities in the Pinelands N RES. Wharton State Forest (115,000 acres) and Brendan Byrne State Forest (35,000 acres) offer the Site's largest portions of public land. The Great Egg Harbor NSRR has a pinelands ecosystem, is located in the south Jersey and is, therefore, a part of the Pinelands N RES.
BEAUTY (4/10)
The pinelands are a dense enigma of bogs, scrub oaks, pitch pines and sandy soil. These woods stretch uninvitingly over much of the south Jersey countryside. Their canopy blocks out the sun, their thick conglomeration stops horizontal views and their mucky undergrowth belies transportation. Driving on the Atlantic City Expressway or the Garden State Parkway is the closest most people get to these largely undeveloped pine barrens. There is a good reason those roads have minimal exits; the pinelands are a scary place.
HISTORIC SIGNIFICANCE (2/10)
Nothing ever happened here. In fact, nothing happens here today. OK, that's not fair. In Season 3 of The Sopranos Paulie Walnuts and Christopher tried to dump the body of an apparently dead Russian mobster here. Of course, the Russian wasn't dead, he escaped into the pinelands, Paulie and Christopher tried to find him and hilarity ensued. We don't even watch The Sopranos and we know about this episode. So don't sound confused.
The mysterious chupacabra-esque Jersey Devil also lives within the pinelands. The devil has been terrorizing unsuspecting pineys for centuries with its bat wings, cloven hooves and glowing red eyes and is only slightly less fearsome than Scott Stevens and/or Livia Soprano.
 CROWDS (4/10)
You are in Brendan Byrne SF and ready to hike. While driving to the hike's trailhead you see a rustic cabin. The cabin sits along the trail. Outside said cabin is a recently-shot deer which has been hung between two pine trees. The deer has not yet been field dressed.
Do you:
a) Take the hike anyway. The hunters have probably had their fill.
b) Regret not wearing bright orange gear and drive on to Atlantic City. or
c) Go to the trailhead, take pictures while talking loudly and then get the heck out of there, never straying more than 100 yards from the Altima.
We chose c because, dear readers, getting pictures to you is more important to us than our own safety. Our fearless photography foray was fortuitous; the views of Pakim Pond were breathtaking and the scenic highlight of our New Jersey trip.
EASE OF USE/ACCESS (1/5)
To be or not to be a National Park Site
That is the Pinelands question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings of unmarked Jersey backroads
And arrows of rogue deer hunters
Or to take arms against an NPS brochure-less Park
And by using the Parkstamps.org master list
find it.
CONCESSIONS/BOOKSTORE (1/5)
There was no bookstore at the Brendan Byrne SF Visitor Center. Its set-up was more tailored to processing papers than handling sightseers. We picked up a tourist brochure at the VC for the nearby village of Whitesbog, "birthplace of the cultivated blueberry." The brochure advertises the Whitesbog General Store which looks to be the place for your pinelands-themed shopping needs.
COSTS (4/5)
Now that Michael has a beefier form of health insurance, a gunshot wound would not have been as expensive as it would have been in early 2006. There are no entry fees for either of the Pinelands' two large State Forest entities.
RANGER/GUIDE TO TOURIST RATIO (2/5)
There were a few State Forest Rangers at the Byrne SF headquarters poised, dare we say hoping, to leave their desks and answer questions about the Park.
 TOURS/CLASSES (1/10)
There are no educational facilities at Byrne SF. We stopped at the Atlantic City Expressway's "Pinelands Interpretive Center" located at the Frank S. Farley Service Area (milepost 21.5 if you're scoring at home) only to find seven decaying outdoor exhibit panels. We tried. We really did.
FUN (3/10)
Our south Jersey journey was like one big wild goose chase. We had no idea what we were looking for and no federal evidence of where to go. We knew the pinelands were all around us but had no notion of how 1.1 million non-NPS administered acres of the Garden State fit into our National Park trip scheme. We still don't. Pinelands N RES is just as nebulous now as it was before our visit. We had fun dodging bullets, driving down unmarked forest roads and interacting with a bizarre cast of pinelands characters but could have enjoyed the same adventure around Harrisburg. And we don't normally do that type of thing.
WOULD WE RECOMMEND? (2/10)
Of course not. When the most exciting thing on a Park's "Things to Do" list (that is if an official list actually existed) is a five-mile loop through cranberry bogs and blueberry fields we feel safe not recommending that Park as a vacation destination.
TOTAL 24/80
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